Today is the 26th of April 2009.... I dont know how he feels towards me during the movie session date, coz he dint tell me anything. I hope, he can tell me more.
I dont know y, i really miss him. I feel, we are made for each other.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Many people says, Eileen, u seemed to be alright le. U are very strong le. Thank you, for all your encouragement and support these few months.
I am alright, on the surface le. At least, everyone is happy to see the current me, when they meet me. More lively, more chatty...
But i dread loneliness. I m afriad of thinking back what happen in Feb 2009, the 28th of Feb 09... The pain juz came, so hard, so painful... Till today, when i see the little ones on the street, it will kinda makes me reflect...
My heart was crying at times, but, my eyes have to remain cheerful, my smile have to be pretty... Feels fake at times... Eileen is longer the way she is in the past...
I want it back!
I am alright, on the surface le. At least, everyone is happy to see the current me, when they meet me. More lively, more chatty...
But i dread loneliness. I m afriad of thinking back what happen in Feb 2009, the 28th of Feb 09... The pain juz came, so hard, so painful... Till today, when i see the little ones on the street, it will kinda makes me reflect...
My heart was crying at times, but, my eyes have to remain cheerful, my smile have to be pretty... Feels fake at times... Eileen is longer the way she is in the past...
I want it back!
Monday, April 6, 2009
I dreamt of him
I dreamt of alvin, like, again. Hai! Maybe i just loved him too much. Miss him so much!
I saw the ring which had our names. I wanted to put it on my finger, but, maybe it should go to my neck instead, the place near my heart.
I saw the ring which had our names. I wanted to put it on my finger, but, maybe it should go to my neck instead, the place near my heart.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Alvin is my Sole Choice. A sole Choice, will last forever.
If i nvr love him very much, i guess, I will nvr had been so upset.
These few days, more than a week, running to Nicolas, I thought I can completely forget him. But, i really cannot. Time spent with him, will reminds me of Wenya. Argh. I dont know what to do.
If i nvr love him very much, i guess, I will nvr had been so upset.
These few days, more than a week, running to Nicolas, I thought I can completely forget him. But, i really cannot. Time spent with him, will reminds me of Wenya. Argh. I dont know what to do.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Work is having problems... but not a major one for me, in fact, it might be a blessing in disguise.
Today, while watching SCV, i saw the male lead piggy back the lady. It reminded me of him again, of those days, we smile together, having lots of fun. I saw how he held on to her hands, telling her he will not let go. He used to said it to me, that was then.
Maybe my intuition was proven right again. I remember before he went into NS in 2007, we had a big problem, as i was struggling to let him go or continue to be with him, but i had no confident to carry on with him.
Maybe this is the reason to y, becoz i already have a hint, we will not work out, through NS.
Maybe this is why, i was so confused then. Hmmz...
I just wan to disappear.. forever if i can.
I thank God, for giving me the chance to love, to be loved, and understand the true meaning of love.
Today, while watching SCV, i saw the male lead piggy back the lady. It reminded me of him again, of those days, we smile together, having lots of fun. I saw how he held on to her hands, telling her he will not let go. He used to said it to me, that was then.
Maybe my intuition was proven right again. I remember before he went into NS in 2007, we had a big problem, as i was struggling to let him go or continue to be with him, but i had no confident to carry on with him.
Maybe this is the reason to y, becoz i already have a hint, we will not work out, through NS.
Maybe this is why, i was so confused then. Hmmz...
I just wan to disappear.. forever if i can.
I thank God, for giving me the chance to love, to be loved, and understand the true meaning of love.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Some of u might say, Eileen you are a dumb n stupid girl. But to me, so long he is happy, i feel it is all worth it.
This blog address, might be closed anytime soon. It will be kept private, as it shows my inner feelings towards him. But i do not want him, or wenya, or anyone from bb primers to sterotype their relationship, due to wat i wrote in here.
Like i always say, i only need him to be happy. It is ok for me, to feel hurt, but, i wun ever hope dat he will be hurt.
Of course, I will keep this blog going on, coz my feelings for him, will not stop just here. I may be living in the past, but, at least, i feel happier.
Eileen Misses Alvin Kok!
P.S. my new link is http://thy-couture.blogspot.com
This blog address, might be closed anytime soon. It will be kept private, as it shows my inner feelings towards him. But i do not want him, or wenya, or anyone from bb primers to sterotype their relationship, due to wat i wrote in here.
Like i always say, i only need him to be happy. It is ok for me, to feel hurt, but, i wun ever hope dat he will be hurt.
Of course, I will keep this blog going on, coz my feelings for him, will not stop just here. I may be living in the past, but, at least, i feel happier.
Eileen Misses Alvin Kok!
P.S. my new link is http://thy-couture.blogspot.com
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sleepy pig me... Slpt throughout the whole sunday. Wake up only for the period when i was talking to Pamela, about going for Exotic Dance with her. Goodness man, i finally found someone with same interest as me, mindset thinking same as me de, who was always so near to me, yet i never knew.
Hopefully WH can join too. Den we girls can hang out together, as per last time. This time, we can ignore those guys. Heez! I need more life can!
Sleeping in the day, and waking at night! How unearthly practice is this. I was never like this, until 4 mths ago, the break up. To avoid my parents nags, so i will behave like this.
Maybe i should start to do a switch back to my normal timing.
Addicted to online window shopping. At least, i would not impluse buy, which is a very good deal.
Should I decorate my pretty phone? Was browsing thru the japanese magazines, their phones are zheng till so pretty can! Woohoo! I guess if i made mine pretty, probably Pamela will drool over it also.
Oh yes, my colleague Jamie, also got the same kind of interest as me, we love japanese style! The GAL style. When everyone wans to buy clothes from Shah, only both of us dint, coz not our kind. Heehee... And she also want to buy crystals from Arab Street to zheng her phone. Goody goody!
After talking to Xav n Pam, i really feel, the other job option would be way better den what i m having now. Although I fear, but at least, I know Pam can understand what is installed for me now.
Maybe i should continue sleeping around 4am... working half day tml. Boo! What a day!
Hopefully WH can join too. Den we girls can hang out together, as per last time. This time, we can ignore those guys. Heez! I need more life can!
Sleeping in the day, and waking at night! How unearthly practice is this. I was never like this, until 4 mths ago, the break up. To avoid my parents nags, so i will behave like this.
Maybe i should start to do a switch back to my normal timing.
Addicted to online window shopping. At least, i would not impluse buy, which is a very good deal.
Should I decorate my pretty phone? Was browsing thru the japanese magazines, their phones are zheng till so pretty can! Woohoo! I guess if i made mine pretty, probably Pamela will drool over it also.
Oh yes, my colleague Jamie, also got the same kind of interest as me, we love japanese style! The GAL style. When everyone wans to buy clothes from Shah, only both of us dint, coz not our kind. Heehee... And she also want to buy crystals from Arab Street to zheng her phone. Goody goody!
After talking to Xav n Pam, i really feel, the other job option would be way better den what i m having now. Although I fear, but at least, I know Pam can understand what is installed for me now.
Maybe i should continue sleeping around 4am... working half day tml. Boo! What a day!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Ytd, i met him around 6pm. Went doctor... Was referred to a specialist for for detailed checkup. Thanks huh...
Cried to him again. Saw his mum, so long nvr see her le. She still talks to me alot, which is very good. Went to his hse, hug ger ger, hug him cry (thats all), help him do abit of household chores (hang the clothes).
Passed him the bag for him, as promised. Although i knew he told me dont need, but I prefer to keep my promises, because I dont like promise breakers, just like i mentioned in my entry 2 posts ago. His birthday, i got for him a bag, baked rice, a photoalbum artwork, a letter. and a comic book, plus the cake...
I will congrat to WY n Vin, for being together officially. Oh well, y should i right, some of u asking? I feel, though i do not like the idea, but at least, he is happy now. I just hope, he can stay happy
Alvin, i know you want me to move on. But i feel, i have my own right and my own feelings to consider. Wenya told me before, i have the right to miss you. And i feel, i have the right to continue loving you too. Because, it is my own problem, right? I hope to tell you, you are very lucky you are blessed that i helped you earlier on. From now onwards, since you have decided to be with her, i believe, she should be the one to protect you, as I should not be doing it le.
I hope Wenya, will not hurt him. My predictions will come true soon, though i m worried for him, but i feel, this is their problem, as I have already warned them.
Maybe now, i should sit back, fold my arms, and see bahx. I already did my best.
Went to find Nic help him do his HW again around 10.15am, after meeting Alvin. Oh, i dont know how much i can trust a guy la, but he did told me, such good friends like me, he only have 3, though he have thousands of pretty gers. Say whatever he likes la...
Left his hse at 7am, ya, you dint see wrongly. Time at his house passed very fast, coz we chit chat while we do the hw.
Daddy waked me up at 8.30am for breakfast. Duh! So tired can. I guess Nic muz be slping still, only poor me, got to wake up now. Lol, he also says, his body clock and slping hour had been tuned to more night life, ever since he knows me, coz i seldom got time to meet people, except at night.
Now, i guess i going to hit the sack for the rest of this sunny and hot sunday morning! Good night!
Cried to him again. Saw his mum, so long nvr see her le. She still talks to me alot, which is very good. Went to his hse, hug ger ger, hug him cry (thats all), help him do abit of household chores (hang the clothes).
Passed him the bag for him, as promised. Although i knew he told me dont need, but I prefer to keep my promises, because I dont like promise breakers, just like i mentioned in my entry 2 posts ago. His birthday, i got for him a bag, baked rice, a photoalbum artwork, a letter. and a comic book, plus the cake...
I will congrat to WY n Vin, for being together officially. Oh well, y should i right, some of u asking? I feel, though i do not like the idea, but at least, he is happy now. I just hope, he can stay happy
Alvin, i know you want me to move on. But i feel, i have my own right and my own feelings to consider. Wenya told me before, i have the right to miss you. And i feel, i have the right to continue loving you too. Because, it is my own problem, right? I hope to tell you, you are very lucky you are blessed that i helped you earlier on. From now onwards, since you have decided to be with her, i believe, she should be the one to protect you, as I should not be doing it le.
I hope Wenya, will not hurt him. My predictions will come true soon, though i m worried for him, but i feel, this is their problem, as I have already warned them.
Maybe now, i should sit back, fold my arms, and see bahx. I already did my best.
Went to find Nic help him do his HW again around 10.15am, after meeting Alvin. Oh, i dont know how much i can trust a guy la, but he did told me, such good friends like me, he only have 3, though he have thousands of pretty gers. Say whatever he likes la...
Left his hse at 7am, ya, you dint see wrongly. Time at his house passed very fast, coz we chit chat while we do the hw.
Daddy waked me up at 8.30am for breakfast. Duh! So tired can. I guess Nic muz be slping still, only poor me, got to wake up now. Lol, he also says, his body clock and slping hour had been tuned to more night life, ever since he knows me, coz i seldom got time to meet people, except at night.
Now, i guess i going to hit the sack for the rest of this sunny and hot sunday morning! Good night!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
After wy talk to me on msn ytd, vin called me. I called him back, and we chat over the phone for almost 2 hrs.
Cried to him about my worries, and unhappiness. We chat and laughed also. My heart lightened so much,and i slpt well. I missed him, really.
He told me he wanted to accompany me go this friday, too bad, i have to meet my ex colleagues tml. This week i m very busy. Delay again.
Sometimes, i really hope to leave all of them. Haiz.
Wenya, you can asked me " So i cannot accept you huh" ytd.. I dont know how to answer you. When vin n i were together, happily, during ndp 2006 and 2007, our times during Primers... You saw, you witness. I believe, you know and saw how much i loved him.
All these while, i treat you as my younger sister, as a friend whom i put my heart to treat you. But, when all these things happens, i asked myself before, can i treat you as the same.... At first, i cannot, because i hated you alot. Now, i can only say, a friend, yes you are.
I dont know, how far i can go in my life, without him...
You say, u will give him back to me, if.... But i can only tell u, i dun wan to snatch him from you. I dont want to be a third party. Though i really really hope and want him to be with me, so we can be a happy life, and to start a family together... But, i understand how painful to give up a person to another person. I cannot be a selfish person, to snatch people's love.
I dont want alvin to be unhappy. I want him to be happier. This is all. Although my life is in a big mess now, i really hope to say the word, 'I love you' to him. Not for what, but from the bottom of my heart, my true feelings.
Alvin n i believe in karma. I dont want my future to be worst den now, because, the pain is worst den death.
I hope u can understand.
Cried to him about my worries, and unhappiness. We chat and laughed also. My heart lightened so much,and i slpt well. I missed him, really.
He told me he wanted to accompany me go this friday, too bad, i have to meet my ex colleagues tml. This week i m very busy. Delay again.
Sometimes, i really hope to leave all of them. Haiz.
Wenya, you can asked me " So i cannot accept you huh" ytd.. I dont know how to answer you. When vin n i were together, happily, during ndp 2006 and 2007, our times during Primers... You saw, you witness. I believe, you know and saw how much i loved him.
All these while, i treat you as my younger sister, as a friend whom i put my heart to treat you. But, when all these things happens, i asked myself before, can i treat you as the same.... At first, i cannot, because i hated you alot. Now, i can only say, a friend, yes you are.
I dont know, how far i can go in my life, without him...
You say, u will give him back to me, if.... But i can only tell u, i dun wan to snatch him from you. I dont want to be a third party. Though i really really hope and want him to be with me, so we can be a happy life, and to start a family together... But, i understand how painful to give up a person to another person. I cannot be a selfish person, to snatch people's love.
I dont want alvin to be unhappy. I want him to be happier. This is all. Although my life is in a big mess now, i really hope to say the word, 'I love you' to him. Not for what, but from the bottom of my heart, my true feelings.
Alvin n i believe in karma. I dont want my future to be worst den now, because, the pain is worst den death.
I hope u can understand.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
While walking home today, suddenly, i found myself singing the songs "guang huai fang shi" and "dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shei"... Hahax. Nice songs. Only he will know, y i love these songs so much.
4th of March today. Tomorrow marks the 6th mth, of me joining the current company. I need his advise on my career.
The results of what they wan... I m not going to tell them. No point, i feel. From the day he decides to leave me, regardless of my feelings to him, i feel, nothing can change him, nothing, not even this.
I can handle it myself. Should have confident in myself.
4th of March today. Tomorrow marks the 6th mth, of me joining the current company. I need his advise on my career.
The results of what they wan... I m not going to tell them. No point, i feel. From the day he decides to leave me, regardless of my feelings to him, i feel, nothing can change him, nothing, not even this.
I can handle it myself. Should have confident in myself.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Decision making is never easy! I am so tired.... I dont know what to do leh. Slp also cannot sleep well. Argh.
Called him ytd, while waiting for my friend to return to his hse. Reach home ard 3.30am. Tired can. Work today. Haiz...
Should I give it up? I dont know what to do... lost n confused for now... So many things to be done, so many things to consider, and yet, the deadline for everything, is just days away.
Somehow or other, i feel, being single might not be a bad thing after all. Though my heart still have him, i can go out with anyone my mood prefers. Hmmz... not bad.
Dear friends... if u guys want to do set up your own websites or need help in IT or designs, please leave me a msg, i got a website and a person to introduce, at low rate. PM me for the link. Thanks.
Called him ytd, while waiting for my friend to return to his hse. Reach home ard 3.30am. Tired can. Work today. Haiz...
Should I give it up? I dont know what to do... lost n confused for now... So many things to be done, so many things to consider, and yet, the deadline for everything, is just days away.
Somehow or other, i feel, being single might not be a bad thing after all. Though my heart still have him, i can go out with anyone my mood prefers. Hmmz... not bad.
Dear friends... if u guys want to do set up your own websites or need help in IT or designs, please leave me a msg, i got a website and a person to introduce, at low rate. PM me for the link. Thanks.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sometimes, where will always be the first time, for people...
After breaking up with Baby in dec 2008, i have never slpt over at anyone's hse. I did so, at a friend's hse last night. This friend, i knew him 4 yrs ago, but i always ignore him in the past.
Hmmz... recently meeting the friend about 3 times in 2 weeks. Please do not mistaken, he is just a normal friend, not a boyfriend. We can never be together, because we are Bosum friends.
After knowing him, i feel, i grew mature, thinking things in better and wider perspective. His attitude, and professsionalism, is something i can learn.
Yes, y do i stayover his place... According to him, no girls slept on his bed before, and no girls overnight at his place before. Lol. But he is the one who requested me to be around, to help him with the website he was doing, his newly created company.
I reached his place at 6pm ytd, and we worked on the website till 9pm. Den he told me, lets start singing. He sang for me (he told me he never sang for anyone since 3 yrs ago)... Damn nice la his voice. When i heard the song " Guang Huai Fang Shi", i almost cried, because i think of Alvin. I missed him so much... really, i miss u Alvin.
We sang till 1am, den we continue with the website. Do the website till 5am, he cook for me to eat. Second time he cook for me, he claimed i am lucky, to be able to eat his cooking twice. People want also dont have.
We slpt at till 9am, den wake up le. Continue the website, till 7pm where i came home. Dint eat the whole day.
He damn funny, halfway through the website, he went to the toliet, asking me to continue thinking. :( Took him 10 mins to come back, i tot he drop inside toliet bowl. When he came back, he open the door and said "Bao Bei". For once i tot he talking rubbish, den he repeat saying "Bao Bei Da Xiao Jie, u tot of the idea alrd?" Anyway, i ignored his crapz.
So tired, using my brain cells for almost 24 hrs straight, super tired can.
I taught this Genius some ideas... Hahaz, suddenly i feel so smart can. He is a genius, IQ 194 leh... Stressed when facing him, coz sometimes the things he talk, hard to understand. First time, i encounter this kind of feeling, coz friends who know me, will know i can easily understand people's talking.
Ok, some of u are already guessing I will be with him already, right?
We are best friend only, y??? Because, his heart lives a girl, since 7 years ago. And my heart, lives my baby, Alvin Kok, since 4 years ago. Both of us understand each other so well. So, we are just enjoying each other's companion only.
Alot of girls like this friend of mine, coz he is handsome, smart and rich. Do the website, always see girls msn him, he will ignore them. I think he can guess what i wanted to ask, he told me, he seldom reply them, but sure reply me. Because, he needs my help, to provide him with the answers he want. Bad person.
I miss Alvin. :( i miss his hug. I understand how tiring running a business is already. Though it is not my business, but, i m so tired. I wan to hug Vin to slp...
After breaking up with Baby in dec 2008, i have never slpt over at anyone's hse. I did so, at a friend's hse last night. This friend, i knew him 4 yrs ago, but i always ignore him in the past.
Hmmz... recently meeting the friend about 3 times in 2 weeks. Please do not mistaken, he is just a normal friend, not a boyfriend. We can never be together, because we are Bosum friends.
After knowing him, i feel, i grew mature, thinking things in better and wider perspective. His attitude, and professsionalism, is something i can learn.
Yes, y do i stayover his place... According to him, no girls slept on his bed before, and no girls overnight at his place before. Lol. But he is the one who requested me to be around, to help him with the website he was doing, his newly created company.
I reached his place at 6pm ytd, and we worked on the website till 9pm. Den he told me, lets start singing. He sang for me (he told me he never sang for anyone since 3 yrs ago)... Damn nice la his voice. When i heard the song " Guang Huai Fang Shi", i almost cried, because i think of Alvin. I missed him so much... really, i miss u Alvin.
We sang till 1am, den we continue with the website. Do the website till 5am, he cook for me to eat. Second time he cook for me, he claimed i am lucky, to be able to eat his cooking twice. People want also dont have.
We slpt at till 9am, den wake up le. Continue the website, till 7pm where i came home. Dint eat the whole day.
He damn funny, halfway through the website, he went to the toliet, asking me to continue thinking. :( Took him 10 mins to come back, i tot he drop inside toliet bowl. When he came back, he open the door and said "Bao Bei". For once i tot he talking rubbish, den he repeat saying "Bao Bei Da Xiao Jie, u tot of the idea alrd?" Anyway, i ignored his crapz.
So tired, using my brain cells for almost 24 hrs straight, super tired can.
I taught this Genius some ideas... Hahaz, suddenly i feel so smart can. He is a genius, IQ 194 leh... Stressed when facing him, coz sometimes the things he talk, hard to understand. First time, i encounter this kind of feeling, coz friends who know me, will know i can easily understand people's talking.
Ok, some of u are already guessing I will be with him already, right?
We are best friend only, y??? Because, his heart lives a girl, since 7 years ago. And my heart, lives my baby, Alvin Kok, since 4 years ago. Both of us understand each other so well. So, we are just enjoying each other's companion only.
Alot of girls like this friend of mine, coz he is handsome, smart and rich. Do the website, always see girls msn him, he will ignore them. I think he can guess what i wanted to ask, he told me, he seldom reply them, but sure reply me. Because, he needs my help, to provide him with the answers he want. Bad person.
I miss Alvin. :( i miss his hug. I understand how tiring running a business is already. Though it is not my business, but, i m so tired. I wan to hug Vin to slp...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saw Pamela tagging me a few pictures in Facebook. I saw the days, where we go NDP together... Me, Alvin, Pamela, Ken, WH n Tiancai... will be together, have fun, jokes, endure all hardships together. I really missed those times.
I missed them so much. Cries...
Those are the days, where i only have smiles... not like today, tears, and unhappy wrinkles, will shower on my face.
The days... I missed so much... I have this feeling, this day will be back again, soon.
I am sorry to alvin. Since the day we break, alot of things happened to you. You cant blame me, i hope. I already warned you.
After 9th dec... his grandpa went in hospital in Dec. His grandpa passed away in Jan. His dad was found to have an affair by the mum in February. Sorry. I can only say... Be brave bahx. I already help you undo some le, but i cant do all. Sorry.
I saw the pictures Pamela n Wh posted up on facebook for the countdown... thanks, i know u girls, maybe dun want me to be sad n unhappy, dint post the photos they took together.
Ya, i love him, so what? Whats wrong with love lehx? I dont care, i m going to love him, and only him, Alvin kok.
I missed them so much. Cries...
Those are the days, where i only have smiles... not like today, tears, and unhappy wrinkles, will shower on my face.
The days... I missed so much... I have this feeling, this day will be back again, soon.
I am sorry to alvin. Since the day we break, alot of things happened to you. You cant blame me, i hope. I already warned you.
After 9th dec... his grandpa went in hospital in Dec. His grandpa passed away in Jan. His dad was found to have an affair by the mum in February. Sorry. I can only say... Be brave bahx. I already help you undo some le, but i cant do all. Sorry.
I saw the pictures Pamela n Wh posted up on facebook for the countdown... thanks, i know u girls, maybe dun want me to be sad n unhappy, dint post the photos they took together.
Ya, i love him, so what? Whats wrong with love lehx? I dont care, i m going to love him, and only him, Alvin kok.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Work work work... then go home watch tv.... den sleep... this is the kind of life which I am having now.
Feeling unwell recently, bloated, some gas in my stomach, want to vomit... Think need to see doctor again...
I hope his leg is better... Yes, I still miss him alot alot. But, somethings, best left unsaid for now. I hope he will never know the results... becoz, i feel i shld face it myself, since it is my own problem.
Feeling unwell recently, bloated, some gas in my stomach, want to vomit... Think need to see doctor again...
I hope his leg is better... Yes, I still miss him alot alot. But, somethings, best left unsaid for now. I hope he will never know the results... becoz, i feel i shld face it myself, since it is my own problem.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Soon, it will be his 22nd Birthday le. Went to see him today. Supposed to meet at 12.30pm, but his dad brought him go tui na. He told me 1pm meet, but since he is with the dad, i dint hope for much... coz the dad's time is rubber band.
The baked rice I cooked for him, went cold liaoz. I met him around 3.30pm, at amk hub. He suggested to go Ichiban Sushi to eat. And so, we had our lunch plus dinner there. He tried my bake rice, he says it is nice, very delicious. Though not hot le, but it is very happy and rewarding to know he likes it.
Coz I bought his fave cake, and it is rather big, we went his hse to cut cake. His dad was there, and we cut a slice for him. Now he just went over his granny hse with the cake, to share the cake with her. He says "popo sure very happy to know the cake is from you de".
Thanks Vin, the 30 mins slp was very rewarding. Both of us agreed that it has been a long long time, since we really had such a nice and sweet sleeping time. Maybe it is the companion, the person beside, and the security the body feels bahx. :)
His feet seemed so swollen. I already reminded him, not to touch water. He told me, when ever he went po po hse, po po will nag at him, for leaving me. Argh... I miss po po... n gong gong.
Vin, I just want to let you know... No one will be good enough for me, except you.
The baked rice I cooked for him, went cold liaoz. I met him around 3.30pm, at amk hub. He suggested to go Ichiban Sushi to eat. And so, we had our lunch plus dinner there. He tried my bake rice, he says it is nice, very delicious. Though not hot le, but it is very happy and rewarding to know he likes it.
Coz I bought his fave cake, and it is rather big, we went his hse to cut cake. His dad was there, and we cut a slice for him. Now he just went over his granny hse with the cake, to share the cake with her. He says "popo sure very happy to know the cake is from you de".
Thanks Vin, the 30 mins slp was very rewarding. Both of us agreed that it has been a long long time, since we really had such a nice and sweet sleeping time. Maybe it is the companion, the person beside, and the security the body feels bahx. :)
His feet seemed so swollen. I already reminded him, not to touch water. He told me, when ever he went po po hse, po po will nag at him, for leaving me. Argh... I miss po po... n gong gong.
Vin, I just want to let you know... No one will be good enough for me, except you.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
His voice, never fails to melt my heart. Was on the phone with him for 20 mins just now, making me at the mood of flying over the clouds!!! Yippee! Super happy can!
As I have expected, I know what he wans for his birthday. Though I already told him what I will be getting for him, i can hear, he is looking forward to it.
Cheeky boy he is. After i told him how i matched make the guys with chio girls... He told me he wans woo me also, den i can intro chio gers for him. Aiyo, Alvin Kok, u are very notti lehx.
He just sprained his legs. I hope he is ok. I laughed at him, coz he is going to be a bai ka for his birthday. Hopefully, he be a good boy, go and see doctor or put ice to cool the pain.
Eileen is happier now! Lalalaz... Duno y, he always alters my mood, with just a snap in the finger.
As I have expected, I know what he wans for his birthday. Though I already told him what I will be getting for him, i can hear, he is looking forward to it.
Cheeky boy he is. After i told him how i matched make the guys with chio girls... He told me he wans woo me also, den i can intro chio gers for him. Aiyo, Alvin Kok, u are very notti lehx.
He just sprained his legs. I hope he is ok. I laughed at him, coz he is going to be a bai ka for his birthday. Hopefully, he be a good boy, go and see doctor or put ice to cool the pain.
Eileen is happier now! Lalalaz... Duno y, he always alters my mood, with just a snap in the finger.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
MC Ytd, due to my stupid diahorra. Ya, i know economy not good, shld not mc, but my stomach not well mah, how to work? Cannot concentrate sure $ wrong de, dat time i sure more stress liaoz.
Heez, I got my VS bag at $30, yippee, thanks to my dear sister. Yeah! Happy leh!
Went back work today, ate a sinful Zinger Meal for lunch. Boo! I need to exercise more, to shed off my fats.
I need to change job lehx... how huh? Maybe coz i still have time bahx..
His birthday on coming monday. Dont know if i can get to meet him, coz I hope to celebrate the day of his 22nd bdae with him... :( I pray hard...
Heez, I got my VS bag at $30, yippee, thanks to my dear sister. Yeah! Happy leh!
Went back work today, ate a sinful Zinger Meal for lunch. Boo! I need to exercise more, to shed off my fats.
I need to change job lehx... how huh? Maybe coz i still have time bahx..
His birthday on coming monday. Dont know if i can get to meet him, coz I hope to celebrate the day of his 22nd bdae with him... :( I pray hard...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I almost had a heart attack, but one of the surprised checks by my colleague!
I am happy today also... many regular customers commented dat i looks so much prettier with my contact lens, comparing to my specs (which I looked like a greek)!
Heez... Ya ya, all thanks to Alvin Kok huh, for spoiling my specs. Shld I replace it? Hmmz... Expensive lehx. Or maybe i shld head down to spectacles hut at amk tml, to repair it?
I m feeling better le, all my friends who were worried for me. Just that hoping my hormones wun fail me, period faster come, else i need take medicine again. :(
I am happy today also... many regular customers commented dat i looks so much prettier with my contact lens, comparing to my specs (which I looked like a greek)!
Heez... Ya ya, all thanks to Alvin Kok huh, for spoiling my specs. Shld I replace it? Hmmz... Expensive lehx. Or maybe i shld head down to spectacles hut at amk tml, to repair it?
I m feeling better le, all my friends who were worried for me. Just that hoping my hormones wun fail me, period faster come, else i need take medicine again. :(
Monday, February 16, 2009
Hai, I need to get my specs replaced, after it got spolit by Mr Kok on the 13th Feb... Haiyo... I m having probleming working, coz it keep sliding down my nose. Boo Hoo!
Got to spend $$ replacing. I love this specs, coz alot pple say it looks damn nice on me. It was bought 2 years ago, with Mr Kok's orange spec. His is also spoiling, coz of the scratches on the lenses.
Work is very sian... Help Benny did sth during work, a small favour, else got problem for the people. :(
Boring night again... What to give him as his bdae gift leh??? Though no longer tgt, but, friends mahx, plus i seriously, cant get over him now.
Got to spend $$ replacing. I love this specs, coz alot pple say it looks damn nice on me. It was bought 2 years ago, with Mr Kok's orange spec. His is also spoiling, coz of the scratches on the lenses.
Work is very sian... Help Benny did sth during work, a small favour, else got problem for the people. :(
Boring night again... What to give him as his bdae gift leh??? Though no longer tgt, but, friends mahx, plus i seriously, cant get over him now.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Eileen is super duper happy!!!
Ok I was a pig, sleeping till 11am, before i decided to wake up for the sunny sunday. Used computer, and stuck myself with the TV.
Went out at 4pm to meet Han Qin, for dinner, walk walk. I need a breather, coz coping myself at home, sooner or later i will go siao.
Before I go home, I went to the mall, and went into the Comic Connections, with the feeling dat, it should be there. I went in anxiously, asking the lady sales girl " Excuse me, do u have Rave comic, Chuan Yi version, 23rd book?"
She told me that she will help me check. When she climbed up the stairs to flip through the books in the hidden shelf, I was like "Have? Have? Have?" while i crossed my fingers, and praying hard. When she told me " You! (Have)" I was beaming with joy and tears in my eyes. I called him immediately, to reconfirm if it is the right book. So, the happy little girl, bought the book, thanking the sales girl many times. She was having the sign of relief on her face, maybe cause she saw my anxious face.
Heez. Now, Mr Alvin Kok should be the happiest guy, coz after months of efforts, the book was finally found. Whenever I go by any malls, I will pop into the comic shops, and ask if they have the book, coz it was out of stock le. Many disappointments, making my heart went UP and then DOWN. Now, i guess, it is the sense of happiness, i can sense from his voice, which makes me feels, it is worth it.
For him, I am willing to do anything. Just like in the past, present and the future. :)
I think Han Qin alrd know, no matter if he likes me or not, when he saw my face changed from the moment I saw the book in my hands, he told me "Now i know y u told all the guys, u cannot commit a relationship, it is because, you loved him too much". I can only be thankful to him, for accompanying me today.
I am so happy, so happy, so happy.... Lalalalalala....
His birthday coming... This is part of the present for him. The other part, waiting for him to tell me, else I will just get him a camera or a bag, i dun care what he going to comment le. Bleahx!
Ok I was a pig, sleeping till 11am, before i decided to wake up for the sunny sunday. Used computer, and stuck myself with the TV.
Went out at 4pm to meet Han Qin, for dinner, walk walk. I need a breather, coz coping myself at home, sooner or later i will go siao.
Before I go home, I went to the mall, and went into the Comic Connections, with the feeling dat, it should be there. I went in anxiously, asking the lady sales girl " Excuse me, do u have Rave comic, Chuan Yi version, 23rd book?"
She told me that she will help me check. When she climbed up the stairs to flip through the books in the hidden shelf, I was like "Have? Have? Have?" while i crossed my fingers, and praying hard. When she told me " You! (Have)" I was beaming with joy and tears in my eyes. I called him immediately, to reconfirm if it is the right book. So, the happy little girl, bought the book, thanking the sales girl many times. She was having the sign of relief on her face, maybe cause she saw my anxious face.
Heez. Now, Mr Alvin Kok should be the happiest guy, coz after months of efforts, the book was finally found. Whenever I go by any malls, I will pop into the comic shops, and ask if they have the book, coz it was out of stock le. Many disappointments, making my heart went UP and then DOWN. Now, i guess, it is the sense of happiness, i can sense from his voice, which makes me feels, it is worth it.
For him, I am willing to do anything. Just like in the past, present and the future. :)
I think Han Qin alrd know, no matter if he likes me or not, when he saw my face changed from the moment I saw the book in my hands, he told me "Now i know y u told all the guys, u cannot commit a relationship, it is because, you loved him too much". I can only be thankful to him, for accompanying me today.
I am so happy, so happy, so happy.... Lalalalalala....
His birthday coming... This is part of the present for him. The other part, waiting for him to tell me, else I will just get him a camera or a bag, i dun care what he going to comment le. Bleahx!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The friend which I mentioned i went to find, during the eve of Valentine's Day, was Alvin.
I passed him the red packets, which I promised the god mums of his bro n his. Hug Ger Ger... I missed this darling so much. She is like the little baby of Alvin n I, hugging her feels so comfortable.
After dat, we went to amk hub for MOS burger, coz I haven had my dinner. Though I was having my gastric, I dint tell him, because, I hope he dont think i m a weak girl.
Headed to Po Po's hse, offer an incense to Gong Gong. When we are walking there, Alvin told me that Po Po came to know about our break up, she told him " Y dont want Eileen? You know Gong Gong dotes Eileen the most de!" Thanks po po, i know, because Gong Gong sees me more often den Catherine (Alvin's Bro GF), n he can see i treat Alvin very good.
When at Po Po Hse, can see she is happy to see me. When talking to her, whenever we came to the topic dat Alvin got listen to Gong Gong's words, Po Po sure say " U got listen to gong gong mah? If got, cannot dont want Eileen", argh so sweet can...
Popo asked me, if Alvin got get flowers for me, coz next day is Vday. I told Po Po, we tgt 3 years plus, dun need le la... Po Po says, ya, 3 years plus le, den Alvin cannot leave Eileen mahx.
SO touched to hear that. Massage for him, coz he seemed tired.
Vin, I know, I can see, u r very tired. Coz have to pei Po Po, ur family committment, ur gf, ur recurits. Jia you!
After popo hse, he drove his dad's car, went back his hse to get something. I know u r looking into my eyes, but i dont dare look into ur eyes, becoz I scared I will fall deeply in love with u again.
Something we should have have began with, I can sense that the word he said "he is weak", maybe because he knows his heart haven forget me yet.
Today is Valentine's Day. Thank you, for sending me home yesterday, for letting me see Po Po. Though I can only see you during the start of Vdae, I m contented. Thanks.
Muacks. Though I m not supposed to say it, i hope to tell u, i love u.
I passed him the red packets, which I promised the god mums of his bro n his. Hug Ger Ger... I missed this darling so much. She is like the little baby of Alvin n I, hugging her feels so comfortable.
After dat, we went to amk hub for MOS burger, coz I haven had my dinner. Though I was having my gastric, I dint tell him, because, I hope he dont think i m a weak girl.
Headed to Po Po's hse, offer an incense to Gong Gong. When we are walking there, Alvin told me that Po Po came to know about our break up, she told him " Y dont want Eileen? You know Gong Gong dotes Eileen the most de!" Thanks po po, i know, because Gong Gong sees me more often den Catherine (Alvin's Bro GF), n he can see i treat Alvin very good.
When at Po Po Hse, can see she is happy to see me. When talking to her, whenever we came to the topic dat Alvin got listen to Gong Gong's words, Po Po sure say " U got listen to gong gong mah? If got, cannot dont want Eileen", argh so sweet can...
Popo asked me, if Alvin got get flowers for me, coz next day is Vday. I told Po Po, we tgt 3 years plus, dun need le la... Po Po says, ya, 3 years plus le, den Alvin cannot leave Eileen mahx.
SO touched to hear that. Massage for him, coz he seemed tired.
Vin, I know, I can see, u r very tired. Coz have to pei Po Po, ur family committment, ur gf, ur recurits. Jia you!
After popo hse, he drove his dad's car, went back his hse to get something. I know u r looking into my eyes, but i dont dare look into ur eyes, becoz I scared I will fall deeply in love with u again.
Something we should have have began with, I can sense that the word he said "he is weak", maybe because he knows his heart haven forget me yet.
Today is Valentine's Day. Thank you, for sending me home yesterday, for letting me see Po Po. Though I can only see you during the start of Vdae, I m contented. Thanks.
Muacks. Though I m not supposed to say it, i hope to tell u, i love u.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! Especially to him!
Apologise to my ladies, for not being able to join them for the dinner at Ichiban Sushi, because I ended my work later den usual. By the time u gers said u r ready to leave, I was just reaching AMK.
I went to meet a friend instead. Reached home after 12 midnight.
Just went out for my facial and pedicure. No man to pamper me nvm, Eileen can do the same to herself... :) Cheers!
I took my off day today, actually wanted to spend the vday with him, when i planned this day in nov 2008. Its ok, so long as he is a happy boy now. I just misses him alot.
Apologise to my ladies, for not being able to join them for the dinner at Ichiban Sushi, because I ended my work later den usual. By the time u gers said u r ready to leave, I was just reaching AMK.
I went to meet a friend instead. Reached home after 12 midnight.
Just went out for my facial and pedicure. No man to pamper me nvm, Eileen can do the same to herself... :) Cheers!
I took my off day today, actually wanted to spend the vday with him, when i planned this day in nov 2008. Its ok, so long as he is a happy boy now. I just misses him alot.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Another report today... we are juz so sway. :(
The brothers damn cute can... The way they handle things.
Yippy, I m now 156cm, taller by 2 cm, and weighing... ahem, 3 kg lesser since dec 2008. Clap Clap!
I shld continue this... Yippy yaya yippy yippy ya...
Buying pretty clothese here n there...
Meeting my darlings tml, for kbox. The girls have been missing out alot of fun between ourselves. BooHoo!
Oh yes, my 2 uncles, whose ages add up to over 100 years old, fighted today. Siao! Simply crazy!
My left hand now got an ugly blue black, from the blood test which i took. Pain n unsightly :( Lucky this Vdae no date, else sure make the date run off.
Just realise, heels has became part of me, i walk better in heels, den without heels. Showing more confidence, plus it makes my figure better... cool!
Maybe, a major impact in my life, changed me from head to toe. I may not be the stupid girl like the past, but my heart still belongs to him.
The brothers damn cute can... The way they handle things.
Yippy, I m now 156cm, taller by 2 cm, and weighing... ahem, 3 kg lesser since dec 2008. Clap Clap!
I shld continue this... Yippy yaya yippy yippy ya...
Buying pretty clothese here n there...
Meeting my darlings tml, for kbox. The girls have been missing out alot of fun between ourselves. BooHoo!
Oh yes, my 2 uncles, whose ages add up to over 100 years old, fighted today. Siao! Simply crazy!
My left hand now got an ugly blue black, from the blood test which i took. Pain n unsightly :( Lucky this Vdae no date, else sure make the date run off.
Just realise, heels has became part of me, i walk better in heels, den without heels. Showing more confidence, plus it makes my figure better... cool!
Maybe, a major impact in my life, changed me from head to toe. I may not be the stupid girl like the past, but my heart still belongs to him.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Cramps... Argh! Very sian...
Training these two days, very enriching. I m glad i got to attend the trainings, something cool.
I m not going to the doctor, i think i m ok la. Coz i m very busy. Ya, dun tell me, how busy also cannot neglect my health. I know it myself.
Back to office tml. :( Boo hoo...
Throughout training, was smsing james n nick. Haiyo, they r like babies, fighting over little things, when one is 23 yr old, the other 28 yr old. Big children sia. Headache, duno how to settle the issue, coz i dun wan to hurt anyone, not even myself.
Training these two days, very enriching. I m glad i got to attend the trainings, something cool.
I m not going to the doctor, i think i m ok la. Coz i m very busy. Ya, dun tell me, how busy also cannot neglect my health. I know it myself.
Back to office tml. :( Boo hoo...
Throughout training, was smsing james n nick. Haiyo, they r like babies, fighting over little things, when one is 23 yr old, the other 28 yr old. Big children sia. Headache, duno how to settle the issue, coz i dun wan to hurt anyone, not even myself.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Slping at an unearthly hour of 12 midnight, and waking at 6.30am today, i was like a walking zombie when i go tiong bahru. Since I was supposed to fast for 8 hrs, since i got medical checkup. So without breakfast, i had to control my gastric pain, and went for my 3 hours medical.
The nurse says, my vein very small, so advised me against going for blood donation "your vein is smaller den the needle for blood donation" Lol... ok lor. Due to this reason, blood test resulted me in having a big big blueblack now. :(
My ECG dint pass though. I think the doctors suspected sth, coz no one, except me, have to see the doctor, and they asked me funny qns.
Whatever. My health has always been poor. Friends n relative wont know, because i did not want anyone to know.
If anything wans to happen to them, i rather it will falls on me instead, coz i want him to be a happy boy.
While going home, went passed henderson road. It reminds me of the 6 mths attachment he gone thru again. Those times were tough, but sweet.
I almost fainted, coz no food taken, gastric and the blood test. But i told myself to walk on, coz if i dont make it, no one i can contact to come n help me bahx. Ya lor, and so, i dragged myself home, and have my first meal after 16 hours.
Damn hungry... N the gastric was painful... Haiz...
Whatever... I have given up on my health. I had been very health n weight conscious, for myself, but, there is nth i can do. I have to jiayou! Jia you!
*It is still painful, to think of u. To know, the place which i used to be in ur heart, was given to someone else. But, I have to surppress my feelings, i dont know how long i can held on...
Maybe this is one of the reason to my heart pain which i had been having recently.
The nurse says, my vein very small, so advised me against going for blood donation "your vein is smaller den the needle for blood donation" Lol... ok lor. Due to this reason, blood test resulted me in having a big big blueblack now. :(
My ECG dint pass though. I think the doctors suspected sth, coz no one, except me, have to see the doctor, and they asked me funny qns.
Whatever. My health has always been poor. Friends n relative wont know, because i did not want anyone to know.
If anything wans to happen to them, i rather it will falls on me instead, coz i want him to be a happy boy.
While going home, went passed henderson road. It reminds me of the 6 mths attachment he gone thru again. Those times were tough, but sweet.
I almost fainted, coz no food taken, gastric and the blood test. But i told myself to walk on, coz if i dont make it, no one i can contact to come n help me bahx. Ya lor, and so, i dragged myself home, and have my first meal after 16 hours.
Damn hungry... N the gastric was painful... Haiz...
Whatever... I have given up on my health. I had been very health n weight conscious, for myself, but, there is nth i can do. I have to jiayou! Jia you!
*It is still painful, to think of u. To know, the place which i used to be in ur heart, was given to someone else. But, I have to surppress my feelings, i dont know how long i can held on...
Maybe this is one of the reason to my heart pain which i had been having recently.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Elated now! I just love my new LG Ice Cream Phone. Pink colour, totally adores it, coz it is very sweet n sexy.
After going to Far East Plaza to buy my phone, I was going hang out at Orchard area. Wanted to buy my magazine, i remember last time, he always tell me off for bringing magazines when i go out. Anyway, i dint buy, because I was thinking, i can save the $$$ for more usage.
My Samsung phone keeps hanging, though i have replaced my regular phone to LG, i m still going to get another new line, to let the Samsung phone keeps serving me, because when I m down, the past smses he sent me, keeps me going on, bring me the smiles. I need the photos we took together, to keep me happy everyday.
The two guys ar... Dont keep giving me problems lehx. Both of u r buddies, no pt quarrelling over me now, coz i m really really really not interested in having any relationships are whatsoever now. Be my friend now, and who knows someday, i can fall in love with u also.
But please please, dont expect me to love anyone now la. I very scared of getting hurt again lehx. Haiyo.
After going to Far East Plaza to buy my phone, I was going hang out at Orchard area. Wanted to buy my magazine, i remember last time, he always tell me off for bringing magazines when i go out. Anyway, i dint buy, because I was thinking, i can save the $$$ for more usage.
My Samsung phone keeps hanging, though i have replaced my regular phone to LG, i m still going to get another new line, to let the Samsung phone keeps serving me, because when I m down, the past smses he sent me, keeps me going on, bring me the smiles. I need the photos we took together, to keep me happy everyday.
The two guys ar... Dont keep giving me problems lehx. Both of u r buddies, no pt quarrelling over me now, coz i m really really really not interested in having any relationships are whatsoever now. Be my friend now, and who knows someday, i can fall in love with u also.
But please please, dont expect me to love anyone now la. I very scared of getting hurt again lehx. Haiyo.
Friday, February 6, 2009
I feel so dejected. With customers yelling n scolding me, wanting me to reveal things i cannot reveal, blaming me for causing them inconvenices...
I m not in the fault. But everything is my fault. I feel so much to cry. But i have to be strong, smile at the customer, and pretend nth happened.
I wan to cry. But this is my work. :( I have to accept it bahx. Another 1/2 day tml, den i will be off on mon to wednesday.
I dont know y i take off day on 14th February.... It was planned in nov 08, in my mind to spent it with him. Now, i guess, its going to be a lonely one. Maybe i shld stay at home, so that i dun see lovely dovery couples on the streets, with flowers... which will make me teared.
Having started my new savings plan, a must to pay every month, i hope to reach my goal soon. I have changed to be more independent, thinking for my future, since there is no one i can rely on bahx.
Thanks to James, for telling me, it is better to walk together in darkness with the person he likes, den to walk alone in light.
But i m sorry, i dont know, when i can forget him, or to put down all these. Please move on without me, because, i may not want to have a relationship in the near future, till someone, the right person, can find the key to my closed heart again.
I m not in the fault. But everything is my fault. I feel so much to cry. But i have to be strong, smile at the customer, and pretend nth happened.
I wan to cry. But this is my work. :( I have to accept it bahx. Another 1/2 day tml, den i will be off on mon to wednesday.
I dont know y i take off day on 14th February.... It was planned in nov 08, in my mind to spent it with him. Now, i guess, its going to be a lonely one. Maybe i shld stay at home, so that i dun see lovely dovery couples on the streets, with flowers... which will make me teared.
Having started my new savings plan, a must to pay every month, i hope to reach my goal soon. I have changed to be more independent, thinking for my future, since there is no one i can rely on bahx.
Thanks to James, for telling me, it is better to walk together in darkness with the person he likes, den to walk alone in light.
But i m sorry, i dont know, when i can forget him, or to put down all these. Please move on without me, because, i may not want to have a relationship in the near future, till someone, the right person, can find the key to my closed heart again.
曾经，站在舞台上唱歌，是我们一起追逐的未来； 现在，一个人的我，努力学习不再依赖你的肩膀，提醒自己要好好的去生活，当剪刀划过我的长发，散落一地的不是泪，而是相恋六年的时光，我微笑望着天空，才发现，在想念和遗忘之间，原来爱情和头发一样，都可以剪短。 ——潘嘉丽 (quoted from www.xin.sg)
Maybe I should learn from her, to be brave and move on. Maybe, i regretted too many things... Maybe... Maybe....
Maybe I should learn from her, to be brave and move on. Maybe, i regretted too many things... Maybe... Maybe....
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tell me, how come i still cannot let go? I feel very pressured, coz i have to hid my feelings for him, so that he can be with the girl he likes n loves. I feel very unhappy, because, why must it be her? The girl, a very very nice girl. When i saw her last time, i knew it. But, i did not stop everything. Maybe, its fated dat way.
I dont know what to do. Vdae coming... I received an invite to Zouk, on Vdae, FOC, but must go with lover n in couple clothes. Haiz.. No date this year. Sianz.
Maybe this kind of vdae, will continues forever, unless, i really meet someone way better den him, dotes me more den he does... Or else, I rather remain single. Coz i promised him, to find someone better den him, provided if i can, else, he got to get one for me.
At times, when i need people to encourage me, i hope it is him. But he will not pick up my calls or sms de, so no point. When i feel lost, I hope he can be my compass, to guide me the right path. But I think, he is so occupied.
Sometimes, I know will happen between the two of them. But i cant tell them. I just hope, they can be happy...
I miss him, n i loves him still. Can i just get into an accident, n forget everything?
I dont know what to do. Vdae coming... I received an invite to Zouk, on Vdae, FOC, but must go with lover n in couple clothes. Haiz.. No date this year. Sianz.
Maybe this kind of vdae, will continues forever, unless, i really meet someone way better den him, dotes me more den he does... Or else, I rather remain single. Coz i promised him, to find someone better den him, provided if i can, else, he got to get one for me.
At times, when i need people to encourage me, i hope it is him. But he will not pick up my calls or sms de, so no point. When i feel lost, I hope he can be my compass, to guide me the right path. But I think, he is so occupied.
Sometimes, I know will happen between the two of them. But i cant tell them. I just hope, they can be happy...
I miss him, n i loves him still. Can i just get into an accident, n forget everything?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Some people asked, Eileen, last time u dint keep ur earholes de. You always pierced when u r unhappy, den y are u keeping the second earhole?
Last time, after the piercing, i want to remove the earring, is because I want to forget my unhappiness.
However, this time, i kept it. To remind myself, I was once a naive and innocent girl, who fell in love with a guy whom i though i will spend my life with. I changed myself unknowingly, to the girl he likes, though some people say, the leopard will never changed its spots. I forget how i used to be fierce at guys...
I remembered, we one had an unforgettable kiss outside NP, where both of us only have each other in one another's eyes. Dat was the true love, we used to have.
The piercing, is to remind myself, I trusted and loved someone before.
Though I will nvr be able to experience all these again in this life of mine again, this one, is the deepest memory in my heart.
I hope to keep all these in my memories, deep into my heart, where you belonged.
When can i smile happily again?
Last time, after the piercing, i want to remove the earring, is because I want to forget my unhappiness.
However, this time, i kept it. To remind myself, I was once a naive and innocent girl, who fell in love with a guy whom i though i will spend my life with. I changed myself unknowingly, to the girl he likes, though some people say, the leopard will never changed its spots. I forget how i used to be fierce at guys...
I remembered, we one had an unforgettable kiss outside NP, where both of us only have each other in one another's eyes. Dat was the true love, we used to have.
The piercing, is to remind myself, I trusted and loved someone before.
Though I will nvr be able to experience all these again in this life of mine again, this one, is the deepest memory in my heart.
I hope to keep all these in my memories, deep into my heart, where you belonged.
When can i smile happily again?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sometimes, i wish my life can be like a fairy tale. A guy to take care of me, someone i loved. Getting married, have his kids and have a happy after life...
Well, this can never be true, i think.
:) At times i miss him... But i feel i have grown up le, after all these mths. Grown to be more lady likes, responsible.... Duno if this is good change or not. But, nvm, i change for myself, not anyone.
Well, this can never be true, i think.
:) At times i miss him... But i feel i have grown up le, after all these mths. Grown to be more lady likes, responsible.... Duno if this is good change or not. But, nvm, i change for myself, not anyone.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
3 years and 6 mths
Specially for Alvin... Our 3 years n 6th mths, on the first day of CNY 2009...
All about you....
- His fave colour : orange n blue (orange is number 1)
- Not much sense when dressing up (unless Allen enlightens him)
- Talk craps most of the time
- He is a thinker. (if he keeps quiet, and his eyebrows starts to lock, he is in the midst of thinking on something)
- Loves his bro first, his mum second, his popo third, his god mum fourth, his dad fifth - Love to DL things, and slp very late, wake up very late too
- Doesnt take care of himself very much
- Dont like to brush his teeth before going to bed (notti boy)
- Loves prawn noodle, teh bing, teh chino, Ichiban sushi, Swensens, BK, Pasta de Waraku
- Loves Lady Finger, Nutritea, Allswell, Longan, Home cooked food, his mum's macroni, yu mi fu zu, scallop porridge, durian, eat fast food (the drink without ice), BK's breakfast (with ice milo)
- Likes to play soccer ( always get himself injured, but he is always happy about it)
- Likes Japanese school girls
- Dont like girls to carry heavy bags, esp mag or books
- Likes girls who dress cutely (when he sees a cute girl on the street, he will disturb you by telling you, cute girl nehx)
- Loves babies and cute children (he wants at least 4 children), if on street see them, he will go gagaga over them
- Hopes to have a small small cosy little house of his own
- Scratch scratch is his fave hobby (coz he perspires, den it was salty, or it is very dry on his skin)
- Loves his blanket (follow him for 14 years le), vin, can i have it, please please?
- A very caring and think for others person
- Dont like to cut his hair (unless bobian)
- Likes to snack at night (very unhealthy lehx)
- Set alarm to wake up also no use. Is a dead sleeper. I used to call him 24 times to wake him up - He is a perfectionist (doesnt things slow, becoz he wans to make sure 100% to his standard)
- Very filial guy
- Likes to act cute n childish ( but his mind is very complicated n complex)
- He loves to play online games n his psp
- Loves the watch his brother got for him
- The most expensive gift he ever got, was the MP3 which I gave him
- Aspire to become a successful business man, doing the career he likes
- Doesnt like his wife to work (want her to be a homemaker)
- Dont like pple to rants, or talk, or disturb him, but he loves to disturb people
- Only way to wake him up, is to tell him softly, shake him, and tell him wake up (it works most of the time)
- Took his advance theory twice...
- Like to be stronger in front of others, because, he is a happy boy who brings joy n happiness to people ard him
- Think of others, before himself (unselfish person)
- Likes RnB, hopes to learn hip hop (my style too)
- Can speak some malay language
- Loves to play Mahjong with his buddy
- Dont like his dad to tell him do things last minute
- A very cute n handsome man he is
- Loves fresh cream cake, likes dark chocolate
- Loves to wear his orange pants
- Likes to hug girl girl to sleep
- Dotes n loves his gf alot (willing to do anything for her)
- Likes to discuss about business things, with his family members ( a very business minded family)
- Will always love his gong gong and god father, who are very impt to him
- His character is very similar to his mum n popo, very gentle person
With all these good n bad points about him, I never regret to say, I love you Alvin. I only hope you are happy now.
I love you...
Eileen
All about you....
- His fave colour : orange n blue (orange is number 1)
- Not much sense when dressing up (unless Allen enlightens him)
- Talk craps most of the time
- He is a thinker. (if he keeps quiet, and his eyebrows starts to lock, he is in the midst of thinking on something)
- Loves his bro first, his mum second, his popo third, his god mum fourth, his dad fifth - Love to DL things, and slp very late, wake up very late too
- Doesnt take care of himself very much
- Dont like to brush his teeth before going to bed (notti boy)
- Loves prawn noodle, teh bing, teh chino, Ichiban sushi, Swensens, BK, Pasta de Waraku
- Loves Lady Finger, Nutritea, Allswell, Longan, Home cooked food, his mum's macroni, yu mi fu zu, scallop porridge, durian, eat fast food (the drink without ice), BK's breakfast (with ice milo)
- Likes to play soccer ( always get himself injured, but he is always happy about it)
- Likes Japanese school girls
- Dont like girls to carry heavy bags, esp mag or books
- Likes girls who dress cutely (when he sees a cute girl on the street, he will disturb you by telling you, cute girl nehx)
- Loves babies and cute children (he wants at least 4 children), if on street see them, he will go gagaga over them
- Hopes to have a small small cosy little house of his own
- Scratch scratch is his fave hobby (coz he perspires, den it was salty, or it is very dry on his skin)
- Loves his blanket (follow him for 14 years le), vin, can i have it, please please?
- A very caring and think for others person
- Dont like to cut his hair (unless bobian)
- Likes to snack at night (very unhealthy lehx)
- Set alarm to wake up also no use. Is a dead sleeper. I used to call him 24 times to wake him up - He is a perfectionist (doesnt things slow, becoz he wans to make sure 100% to his standard)
- Very filial guy
- Likes to act cute n childish ( but his mind is very complicated n complex)
- He loves to play online games n his psp
- Loves the watch his brother got for him
- The most expensive gift he ever got, was the MP3 which I gave him
- Aspire to become a successful business man, doing the career he likes
- Doesnt like his wife to work (want her to be a homemaker)
- Dont like pple to rants, or talk, or disturb him, but he loves to disturb people
- Only way to wake him up, is to tell him softly, shake him, and tell him wake up (it works most of the time)
- Took his advance theory twice...
- Like to be stronger in front of others, because, he is a happy boy who brings joy n happiness to people ard him
- Think of others, before himself (unselfish person)
- Likes RnB, hopes to learn hip hop (my style too)
- Can speak some malay language
- Loves to play Mahjong with his buddy
- Dont like his dad to tell him do things last minute
- A very cute n handsome man he is
- Loves fresh cream cake, likes dark chocolate
- Loves to wear his orange pants
- Likes to hug girl girl to sleep
- Dotes n loves his gf alot (willing to do anything for her)
- Likes to discuss about business things, with his family members ( a very business minded family)
- Will always love his gong gong and god father, who are very impt to him
- His character is very similar to his mum n popo, very gentle person
With all these good n bad points about him, I never regret to say, I love you Alvin. I only hope you are happy now.
I love you...
Eileen
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Was so happy, to know, he won $13 in the Mahjong game. Good job boy!
It is new year eve. For the past years after i know him, I will join his family for reunion dinner, at his place, at His grandparents house to eat... Always so happy...
This year, I m lost. Staying at my house. Suddenly, I got too much time to spare. In a way, it is good. I have reflected alot.
I will keep my things tidy, do housework. I will learn to cook nice food.
It is new year eve. For the past years after i know him, I will join his family for reunion dinner, at his place, at His grandparents house to eat... Always so happy...
This year, I m lost. Staying at my house. Suddenly, I got too much time to spare. In a way, it is good. I have reflected alot.
I will keep my things tidy, do housework. I will learn to cook nice food.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Had diahorra last night, felt totally weak. Slpt at 4am, coz my whole mind, was him and her again. Argh, I hate this feeling...
The day is finally over. Woke up at 7am, drag myself to work, demanding customers again. :( Alot of things happened this week. Apart from my report, my colleagues got complains, reports and all. Not a pleasant week for us. But we have endured it! Good job sia.
It is New Year's Eve tml. His aunt told me to get for them some red packets, becoz they claimed the place i working, provides nice red packets. I have got them le. Duno when got the chance to pass to them.
He good lor. Say want to pei po po... now at Ken's hse Mahjong. Alvin, u notty boy lor. If u meet me today, maybe I can pass u the red packets to your aunts. Notty notty vin vin.
Went to PS for a movie, with a friend. Inkheart! Not my kind of show, but i guessed, guys will love it. The person whom i watched with, is really CMI to me.
Any friends who thinks i talk too much, until you see this person, u will really faint lor. Talk non stop. Haiz... How to reject leh?
After the movie, I went to by CNY clothes. My dress theme for this year is sexy and school girl type... Cute can! Cant wait! Woohoo! Girls, dun drool when u see me, or attempt to molest me can?
I must continue my exercise, and get slimmer, to look better on cny. 2 more days to go.
I have tried my best to move on. But, everything just stopped on 9th Dec 2008. Though the earth continues to turn, but I think, my life stopped that day.
Pushing myself harder...
The day is finally over. Woke up at 7am, drag myself to work, demanding customers again. :( Alot of things happened this week. Apart from my report, my colleagues got complains, reports and all. Not a pleasant week for us. But we have endured it! Good job sia.
It is New Year's Eve tml. His aunt told me to get for them some red packets, becoz they claimed the place i working, provides nice red packets. I have got them le. Duno when got the chance to pass to them.
He good lor. Say want to pei po po... now at Ken's hse Mahjong. Alvin, u notty boy lor. If u meet me today, maybe I can pass u the red packets to your aunts. Notty notty vin vin.
Went to PS for a movie, with a friend. Inkheart! Not my kind of show, but i guessed, guys will love it. The person whom i watched with, is really CMI to me.
Any friends who thinks i talk too much, until you see this person, u will really faint lor. Talk non stop. Haiz... How to reject leh?
After the movie, I went to by CNY clothes. My dress theme for this year is sexy and school girl type... Cute can! Cant wait! Woohoo! Girls, dun drool when u see me, or attempt to molest me can?
I must continue my exercise, and get slimmer, to look better on cny. 2 more days to go.
I have tried my best to move on. But, everything just stopped on 9th Dec 2008. Though the earth continues to turn, but I think, my life stopped that day.
Pushing myself harder...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Struggling to stay firm.... Fighting my work war consistantly for 4 weeks alone. No weekend off, when i tot I will get my weekend off tomorrow, one of the officers decided to take her mc for 2 days. Of all days la... Maybe, it doesnt pays to be nice to people, just like my relationships...
After all the people took their weekend off, while i tot it is my turn, everything is like gone! I am so tired... Queues... I m learning to live with it, but, it is really so tired, till i just want to cry during work.
Hai.. Duno how long i can stand in. Headache, bad flu, super painful heart pain, backpain, legs pain. Very sianz... My head is throbbing. Tense shoulders.
Sometimes, how i wish he can help me to massage my shoulder, carry me to fly.... This action, nvr fails to make the down down emo me happy like a baby girl. I will just tell him, I want to fly fly... And there I go...
At night, when i see boy boy, i seem to be seeing him also. Dat was last time. Now, i dont wan to see it, just a hug everyday, becoz I want to keep my emotion up.
Come to think of it, I am indeed a stronger person le. Dint rant my problems n unhappines to people le. Even though stress and all is taking a toll on me, i will try my best, to carry on, to the best of my ability.
My future lies in my own hands... I want a degree, a good paying job (maybe when the economy is better), live my life happily. I dont need a man in my life, if it means hurt and pain to me.
Eileen will do a comeback soon, in 2 years time.
Past is past, while i do my waiting for him, life still goes on. I have confident, and is sure.
After all the people took their weekend off, while i tot it is my turn, everything is like gone! I am so tired... Queues... I m learning to live with it, but, it is really so tired, till i just want to cry during work.
Hai.. Duno how long i can stand in. Headache, bad flu, super painful heart pain, backpain, legs pain. Very sianz... My head is throbbing. Tense shoulders.
Sometimes, how i wish he can help me to massage my shoulder, carry me to fly.... This action, nvr fails to make the down down emo me happy like a baby girl. I will just tell him, I want to fly fly... And there I go...
At night, when i see boy boy, i seem to be seeing him also. Dat was last time. Now, i dont wan to see it, just a hug everyday, becoz I want to keep my emotion up.
Come to think of it, I am indeed a stronger person le. Dint rant my problems n unhappines to people le. Even though stress and all is taking a toll on me, i will try my best, to carry on, to the best of my ability.
My future lies in my own hands... I want a degree, a good paying job (maybe when the economy is better), live my life happily. I dont need a man in my life, if it means hurt and pain to me.
Eileen will do a comeback soon, in 2 years time.
Past is past, while i do my waiting for him, life still goes on. I have confident, and is sure.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I m looking for new jobs... Becoz my Uni is starting soon. My new life is about to start soon. i just hope, i can leave everything in 2008. Walk down my life brand new, plus my bond with the company will end in March 2009, so, it is about time to start looking for a new job le.
I m missing him so much. I dont know. When I heard he n WY is going to be tgt soon, I cant help to remember, last time, he asked me, do you prefer 23 or 26th, i chose 26th. This mth 26th, by right shld be our 3 yr 6 mth, plus it is the first day of cny, how auspicious. But, things are so different now.
I am struggling to move on. Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... I want to grow up.
I m missing him so much. I dont know. When I heard he n WY is going to be tgt soon, I cant help to remember, last time, he asked me, do you prefer 23 or 26th, i chose 26th. This mth 26th, by right shld be our 3 yr 6 mth, plus it is the first day of cny, how auspicious. But, things are so different now.
I am struggling to move on. Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... I want to grow up.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Uber busy! After work, i rushed down to Marina Square, Riz Carlton for my sis's 20th bdae celebration. After the dinner at Waraku, I went to Alvin's grandpa's wake. Left ard 1.30am, where he drove me back. He came up my house, and he is totally immerized with his potong ice cream la. After my house, he went back to the wake.
I woke up at 9.30 today, to go for Gong Gong's funeral. He left at 2am. I was tearing. When they send him in, i was crying like tap water can. Gong gong, i miss you... Haiz...
While I have decided to wait for him, I have also decided to let him be with the person he likes, because, loving a person u do not need to own him, but if he is happy with the person he likes, you will feel loved too. So, I will wait, while i continue my love for him...
I woke up at 9.30 today, to go for Gong Gong's funeral. He left at 2am. I was tearing. When they send him in, i was crying like tap water can. Gong gong, i miss you... Haiz...
While I have decided to wait for him, I have also decided to let him be with the person he likes, because, loving a person u do not need to own him, but if he is happy with the person he likes, you will feel loved too. So, I will wait, while i continue my love for him...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Went to Gong Gong's wake right after work. Wanted to buy the prawn noodle for Alvin, scared he is hungry. But, was thinking he had prawn noodle ytd, plus his skin condition, he shld not be eating so much prawn noodle.
They have ritals today. Sat there from 8.15 to 11 plus, busy doing the paper money for Gong Gong. They burnt it at 11 plus. After burning, Alvin borrow his dad's car, and send me home. While we are leaving there, we saw SCDF pple.
Hmmz... work is utterly stress for me, especially about the report things... Lucky got a compliment letter today. Not so bad after all.
Seeing his relatives, i feel, i m a lucky person, at least, I am well liked by them.
I think, all thanks to Gong Gong, I am given this chance to see him everyday. Though it is not like the past, but i m already contented. I really really miss him alot alot.
And alvin, i m gona wait... Dont care.
They have ritals today. Sat there from 8.15 to 11 plus, busy doing the paper money for Gong Gong. They burnt it at 11 plus. After burning, Alvin borrow his dad's car, and send me home. While we are leaving there, we saw SCDF pple.
Hmmz... work is utterly stress for me, especially about the report things... Lucky got a compliment letter today. Not so bad after all.
Seeing his relatives, i feel, i m a lucky person, at least, I am well liked by them.
I think, all thanks to Gong Gong, I am given this chance to see him everyday. Though it is not like the past, but i m already contented. I really really miss him alot alot.
And alvin, i m gona wait... Dont care.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Freaking hell.... Faints can, everyday see the long long queue, before i stepped in the workplace. Vomit blood la.
Den people scolding n scolding, drowning me with their salivas, throwing temper. All i can do is, breathe in breathe out, calm down, telling myself, dun box them eileen, dun box them. Lol!
Everyday, so worry something will go wrong. I am so tired, very brain draining.... very very very tired.
Eileen is tired, of work, of not having a support. :( I will try to be a stronger girl.
Den people scolding n scolding, drowning me with their salivas, throwing temper. All i can do is, breathe in breathe out, calm down, telling myself, dun box them eileen, dun box them. Lol!
Everyday, so worry something will go wrong. I am so tired, very brain draining.... very very very tired.
Eileen is tired, of work, of not having a support. :( I will try to be a stronger girl.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
I m getting the hang of my job le. 111 vouchers, exceeding my seniors again! Yeah! Good job!
I wan to lose more weight. My colleagues are saying, eileen are getting more sexy with my new dressing style... woohoo!
I m addicted to the show Love Or Bread. I remember asking him before, if he will choose love or bread? I dont care for any reason now, becoz, my heart is totally saddened by him. But, xing jie hai xu xing yap yi.
The show is recommended by Gracie, the girl whom me n alvin know when we were working at expo, for primers for one day. I remember having the poloride photo of me n alvin, with her. Very sweet girl, who consoled me about things.
Oh yes, my brother did very well for his exams, L1R5 at 11 pts, L1R4 at 9 points, dats before he got his deduction for his 4 points, which he got from his cca and his other achievements.
I wan to lose more weight. My colleagues are saying, eileen are getting more sexy with my new dressing style... woohoo!
I m addicted to the show Love Or Bread. I remember asking him before, if he will choose love or bread? I dont care for any reason now, becoz, my heart is totally saddened by him. But, xing jie hai xu xing yap yi.
The show is recommended by Gracie, the girl whom me n alvin know when we were working at expo, for primers for one day. I remember having the poloride photo of me n alvin, with her. Very sweet girl, who consoled me about things.
Oh yes, my brother did very well for his exams, L1R5 at 11 pts, L1R4 at 9 points, dats before he got his deduction for his 4 points, which he got from his cca and his other achievements.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Just read his blog. It is good to see, u have grown up. Well, u might look childish, because u want pple ard u to be happy, to smile. But ur mind, is so deep in thoughts, mature thinking.
:) I hope, and pray hard, gong gong will be alright. I never see that gong gong was just urs. I m worry for him, because I regard him as my own. I hope u can tell me everything of him. Becoz i m worried for him.
:) I hope, and pray hard, gong gong will be alright. I never see that gong gong was just urs. I m worry for him, because I regard him as my own. I hope u can tell me everything of him. Becoz i m worried for him.
It is not that i dint want to meet u. U cannot imagine, how happy I was, to see your picture appearing on my handphone, after 4 days. I missed you so much.
I told u, I do not want to see you, becoz i m afraid of rejections. Please give me a path to move on for now, becoz i no longer have the pillar of my life. My feet is not strong enuf, to pull me thru the hard work dat is lying in front of me. I do not need any things, to shattered my life again for now.
Heartbroken, sadness... doubt u nvr experience before, becoz u have always been the one to ditch people. I just hope dat, u can grow up, be responsible to what u have said to others. DOnt give empty promises, or else, no girls will believe you anymore.
Until I am ready to face u you again. Alvin, though disappointment is what I feel now, but, I just want to tell u, I still loves n miss u dearly. Maybe the only thing to make u feel better for all dat u have done to me, is for me to move on. I will try my very best, I dont know how long i can walk this journey alone, but, our memories together, will accompany me, till u come back to me again.
I told u, I do not want to see you, becoz i m afraid of rejections. Please give me a path to move on for now, becoz i no longer have the pillar of my life. My feet is not strong enuf, to pull me thru the hard work dat is lying in front of me. I do not need any things, to shattered my life again for now.
Heartbroken, sadness... doubt u nvr experience before, becoz u have always been the one to ditch people. I just hope dat, u can grow up, be responsible to what u have said to others. DOnt give empty promises, or else, no girls will believe you anymore.
Until I am ready to face u you again. Alvin, though disappointment is what I feel now, but, I just want to tell u, I still loves n miss u dearly. Maybe the only thing to make u feel better for all dat u have done to me, is for me to move on. I will try my very best, I dont know how long i can walk this journey alone, but, our memories together, will accompany me, till u come back to me again.
Everyone will die one day, it is nothing. But the worst part is, to part with someone you love.
Once you deem someone as evil, whatever he do, will seems evil to you, and you will do evil things like the person. Because your senses are blinded by misunderstandings...
Things in future, we cannot determine today.
To give fearlessly.. Helping and supporting the person you love, even though you might not get any return, but its the effort it counts.
Some quotes, i learn from tv today
Once you deem someone as evil, whatever he do, will seems evil to you, and you will do evil things like the person. Because your senses are blinded by misunderstandings...
Things in future, we cannot determine today.
To give fearlessly.. Helping and supporting the person you love, even though you might not get any return, but its the effort it counts.
Some quotes, i learn from tv today
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Today is the 10th of Jan 2009. I just realised I haven done any new year resolution yet.
Mine will be:
1) my little secret
2) Work to be smoother
3) Do well in my studies
4) my little secret...
I feel like chopping off my long hair for a brand new me. Shld i?
I feel like going for my braces. I once put off this thought, cause of him, he made me confident with them.
Its all abt him, again! What am i supposed to do?
I dread abt the coming week... horrible! I had a nightmare over it last night. Dint slp well for the past 2 weeks, even with medication help. Hai, panda liao le la. CNY coming, mummy n sis bdae coming...
Mine will be:
1) my little secret
2) Work to be smoother
3) Do well in my studies
4) my little secret...
I feel like chopping off my long hair for a brand new me. Shld i?
I feel like going for my braces. I once put off this thought, cause of him, he made me confident with them.
Its all abt him, again! What am i supposed to do?
I dread abt the coming week... horrible! I had a nightmare over it last night. Dint slp well for the past 2 weeks, even with medication help. Hai, panda liao le la. CNY coming, mummy n sis bdae coming...
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Many of my friends are worried and concern about me. Thank you gentleman and ladies! I am fine.
Well, in life, there are ups and downs. Friends, there are many kinds too. But for one who can really understand how much I have been through and saw how much I have grown in this relationship, I guess other than him, it will be Michelle and Xavier.
I really thank them, for understanding and supporting me all these while. While everyone gave me their support and encouragement to move on, all of you know it is difficult. Actually, it is not that difficult, is whether I want or not.
But if you know me deep and well, I am not the kind of girl who gives up easily. If I dont my effort, and I give up, I feel I will be letting myself down, I do not like regrets in my life.
To Alvin Kok, Remember what I told u before? Yes, in NS you might have matured, but it is undeniable that a lady's thoughts will most likely be more mature than that of a male's. What you are going through now, I have been through before. I managed to pull through, is because of your help, ur care, your love, your support. When I looked into your eyes, I know what you are thinking, usually. On Sunday when I saw you, I know immediately, that you feel you might not love me anymore, but deep down in your heart, ask urself, is it this way? You can let me go just like dat? Or now ur heart tells u, Alvin, let her go, because you loves her, and she deserves someone way better than you?
A relationship is not just maintaining the love between the couple. If this is all we do, then the feeling sure fade, sooner or later. It is about falling in love with the same person, over and over again, through the care and concern, the little things he or she has done, and surprises and understanding he or she can do.
Listen to the deepest in your heart. I can tell u something. If you think these 3 years with you, I have become someone who clings on you, lacks of confidence, I will show you, the woman in me. It is my motto, never gives up, until you have try your very best.
To end this post, I love you.
Well, in life, there are ups and downs. Friends, there are many kinds too. But for one who can really understand how much I have been through and saw how much I have grown in this relationship, I guess other than him, it will be Michelle and Xavier.
I really thank them, for understanding and supporting me all these while. While everyone gave me their support and encouragement to move on, all of you know it is difficult. Actually, it is not that difficult, is whether I want or not.
But if you know me deep and well, I am not the kind of girl who gives up easily. If I dont my effort, and I give up, I feel I will be letting myself down, I do not like regrets in my life.
To Alvin Kok, Remember what I told u before? Yes, in NS you might have matured, but it is undeniable that a lady's thoughts will most likely be more mature than that of a male's. What you are going through now, I have been through before. I managed to pull through, is because of your help, ur care, your love, your support. When I looked into your eyes, I know what you are thinking, usually. On Sunday when I saw you, I know immediately, that you feel you might not love me anymore, but deep down in your heart, ask urself, is it this way? You can let me go just like dat? Or now ur heart tells u, Alvin, let her go, because you loves her, and she deserves someone way better than you?
A relationship is not just maintaining the love between the couple. If this is all we do, then the feeling sure fade, sooner or later. It is about falling in love with the same person, over and over again, through the care and concern, the little things he or she has done, and surprises and understanding he or she can do.
Listen to the deepest in your heart. I can tell u something. If you think these 3 years with you, I have become someone who clings on you, lacks of confidence, I will show you, the woman in me. It is my motto, never gives up, until you have try your very best.
To end this post, I love you.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
First day of 2009
Welcome to the new Year, 2009! This year, I spend it with my dearest girls, at Mich Lim's House. Instead of calling for delivery or potluck, we met at Heartland Mall to buy ingredients, and cook delicious pasta at her house. We had our fill, watch tv, play board games and cards.
Slpt at 4am at my house. Woke at 10am. Cant slp further. Haiyo, tml I am going to do relief at a place, where I duno. Good thing is, the place closed at 4.30am, so I can go home earlier. Hee!
I feel like going or hou hua jian's concert on 7th Feb. Should I?
Gor and his fiance are sick :( I hope they are feeling better.
I miss him. I cant deny to anyone, dat I no longer loves him, nor miss him. It is a 3 year plus relationship. What we have been through is not what anyone can understand. I have been thinking of him, as and when.
Alvin, I know you read this. Just something to share with you when I spoke to Pamela today. She and weiyuan broke up, was because Pauline told WY sth. I am not saying what she says is wrong, or misleading. However, we are all grown ups.
In life, friends and mentors are people who gave us advises and opinions when we are unable to sort our thoughts. Thankfully with them at times, we are able to reach our desired outcome by being enligtened. However, sometimes they might not be the parties involved to now the exact situation, feelings and memories. Therefore, we should reasses, think twice or thrice, consider the outcome beore coming to a conclusion, so as not to have any regrets in our life.
When comes to relationship, no single relationship experience is similar to that of another couple's, which is why love is exclusive to dat special someone.
Slpt at 4am at my house. Woke at 10am. Cant slp further. Haiyo, tml I am going to do relief at a place, where I duno. Good thing is, the place closed at 4.30am, so I can go home earlier. Hee!
I feel like going or hou hua jian's concert on 7th Feb. Should I?
Gor and his fiance are sick :( I hope they are feeling better.
I miss him. I cant deny to anyone, dat I no longer loves him, nor miss him. It is a 3 year plus relationship. What we have been through is not what anyone can understand. I have been thinking of him, as and when.
Alvin, I know you read this. Just something to share with you when I spoke to Pamela today. She and weiyuan broke up, was because Pauline told WY sth. I am not saying what she says is wrong, or misleading. However, we are all grown ups.
In life, friends and mentors are people who gave us advises and opinions when we are unable to sort our thoughts. Thankfully with them at times, we are able to reach our desired outcome by being enligtened. However, sometimes they might not be the parties involved to now the exact situation, feelings and memories. Therefore, we should reasses, think twice or thrice, consider the outcome beore coming to a conclusion, so as not to have any regrets in our life.
When comes to relationship, no single relationship experience is similar to that of another couple's, which is why love is exclusive to dat special someone.
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